This petition is so farcical it must be a joke… right?

A Change.org petition is demanding that Starfield, Bethesda’s upcoming sci-fi RPG, become a PS5 exclusive. With over 1,000 signatures, it’s got to be a joke, right? Could anyone think that this was actually possible? As the newly fanned flames of the second great console war flicker online, can anyone really believe this is even possible?

Starfield was first teased in 2018 and has been a permanent fixture on many a gamer’s hype list ever since. However, with Bethesda now firmly in the Microsoft team for some time now, their next AAA space blockbuster will only be released on Xbox and PC consoles. PlayStation fans are in for a cold, starless winter.

This petition, titled “Make Starfield PS5 EXCLUSIVE!” and holding its own with a whopping 1,037 signatures at the time of writing. Whether or not this is a genuine request or just a fun joke at the expense of PS5 fans with comically unrealistic expectations is up in the air, but worth a read on its entertainment merits alone.

It was launched into the world by a single brave PlayStation warrior named Benjamin Dickey, who writes the following as his opening storyline:

“For over a decade, Bethesda games have been released on PlayStation. They work better on PlayStation, work better and sell better. Xbox and especially Phil Spencer HAVE NO BUSINESS to take them away.” First of all, you have to give it to Dickey for this short but sweet opening argument just with passion. He is in it to win it.

You are wrong, it is worth pointing out. The Xbox Series X has more power under the hood than the PS5. The reason the PS5 is outselling the Xbox Series X in the UK and beyond right now is because that console has better exclusives, at least in the general market’s mind.

To be fair, that’s not really a fight Xbox signed up for – their goal for this generation is clearly to get you to subscribe to Game Pass rather than shell out £70 for every new game. Each console has its advantages, make love and not war! As for Bethesda games selling best on PlayStation, there’s no real data to back this up either. However, consoles in general seemed to outsell PC, interesting right?

Getting back to this petition: The remaining 580 words continue the trend of hitting every memorable console war point out there right now. Again, you should read it yourself, but a few choice quotes I just need to highlight “Secondly, Xbox and its 12 dedicated players do NOT deserve Starfield or any exclusivity. Not only are they arrogant and annoying, but from the showcase they have been irritating”, and the final note, “I don’t need trolls coming here to complain that we really care about games and I don’t care how many of you come insulting me. Brilliant.

As you can imagine, this petition has generated mixed reactions. “I’m signing because I want to leave a comment telling you that you’re pathetic and need to get a life!” writes Penelope K, clearly at Xbox camp and preparing to hit the stars with Todd in a few months. In fact, it seems like a lot of people have thrown their signatures just for the chance to nail Dickey directly.

“I really wanted you to know that this is the dumbest argument I’ve ever seen! You’re fucking delusional that you really think this will work. Damn idiot,” writes James Davis with the eloquent touch of a Renaissance painter. They’re joined by a fellow James who just showed up to let Benjamin know: “I guarantee you’re the kind of jerk who loves it when PS ruins Xbox titles and now it hurts that your shoe is on the other foot. Pathetic guy!”

If Benjamin is kidding, then good job mate, you’ve done a good job here. If he’s serious, then he stands out as a perfect example of the reinvigorated console war that seems to have been raging for many months now. Trust us: we see it in our Twitter mentions all the time! Something about this current generation of consoles has people excited, calling out to those ardent new soldiers willing to give their lives online for the cause, as well as old veterans for whom the war never really ended.

If you’re a PlayStation exclusive player, don’t feel too bad. Without Starfield, you have over 100 GB to spend on a bunch of other great games to play. It’s a packed September this year – I’m sure the Armored Core 6 can keep you warm at night.

What do you think? Is this request real or just a big joke? Also, while we’re here, screw it! Which console is better: PS5 or Xbox Series X? I want all of you who have been calling us complicit in both Microsoft and Sony (occasionally at the same time) to make your case below. To get mad!