No one called me ‘daddy’: I roleplayed as Pedro Pascal and went to nightclubs in Final Fantasy 14

Thousands do it, but roleplaying in an MMO is weirdly intimidating. It shouldn’t be: videogames are all about playing as characters (or souped-up versions of yourself) in exciting new worlds, so why is taking the next step and becoming someone else so scary? Perhaps it’s the fact that in an MMO like Final Fantasy 14 you’re doing it infront of other people, but no one actually knows you or can see you so there’s nothing to hide.

Roleplaying can be a fun way to make your experience of a game even deeper so at some point you just need to go for it and get stuck in. FF14 is particularly good for it as it has an extremely creative playerbase that have built all sorts of RP venues within the game’s housing districts to explore. I didn’t quite feel brave enough to embrace a fully new character, so I thought I’d try playing as someone else. Someone recognisable and easy to imagine. Someone who everyone loves. Someone like… Pedro Pascal.

My first step in making him seem believable was getting his look right. After an hour spent considering different face options as a male Hyur I finally had something Pedro-shaped, but to really sell it I needed fashion. Thankfully, FF14’s glamour system and range of clothing is surprisingly broad, so there was lots to choose from. But, being a little level 1 ‘sprout’, I had to employ my main character to fund his wardrobe.

I considered his iconic Met Gala red coat look to show off his slutty little knees but like most fashion it was beyond my budget. Instead I opted for a yellow jumper and chinos to really get the ‘internet’s favourite daddy’ look right.

My next problem was choosing an appropriate Job. At first I thought a gun-toting Machinist would work well to mirror The Mandalorian, but that doesn’t unlock until you hit Heavensward. So, I went for a Rogue as it felt like the most flamboyant class and I could unlock that after getting something else to level 10. Finally set up, Pedro was ready to go out into the world and check out what Eorzea has to offer. Unfortunately, things didn’t quite go how I expected.

I figured as an actor, Mr. Pascal would have to attend parties on a semi-regular basis for premieres and networking, so the first thing I decided to do was check out one of the game’s nightclub venues. I hit up Club Minx on Cerberus server and discovered a truly impressive set up. The entrance featured a simple cloakroom complete with greeter, before following a hallway down to the club space in the basement. Featuring multiple bars that were fully staffed, a dance floor, DJ booth and VIP area, it felt like a surprisingly realistic space – just one filled with bunny boys, cat girls, and someone dressed as angel. All dancing merrily! There had to be at least 100 people there emoting away on the dancefloor.

Being a celebrity, I figured I might get swarmed by the crowd so a made a beeline for the roped off VIP area. That was my first mistake. Blocked off by a huge bodyguard, I took a peek over the rope and noticed that it was actually filled with ‘courtesans’ – a rolepley bridge I wasn’t ready to cross no matter how much I wanted someone to call me Daddy.

I retreated to the safety of the bar and grabbed a drink while planning my next move and indulging in some people watching. Everyone seemed to be in their own little world, completely unaware that an icon was in their midst. I couldn’t let that stand, so I downed my drink and hit the Dancefloor – Pedro isn’t one to shy away from showing off his moves, after all.

Mirroring his SNL skit where he dances with a clicker from The Last Of Us, I hit up the most out-there group I could find; a trio of women dressed up as pink wolves. I tapped merrily away near them, but they didn’t notice me. Their loss, I suppose. Next I tried dancing with a pirate, but again I might as well have been invisible. Maybe it was the booze, or the club was too dark, but no one seemed to notice that a god among men was among them.

Next I spotted a glamour competition which is basically a chance to show off your outfits. Being a fashion icon, this seemed like a surefire way to be noticed. So I approached the photo booth to register my interest. The theme was nobility – fitting, given that Pedro Pascal celebrity royalty. Right? Unfortunately for the socialites in this bar, that wasn’t enough; regal clothing only. Chinos and knitwear work perfectly for the red carpet in real life, but not in FF14 apparently. Who knew? I cut my losses here and headed back to the plaza in Limsa to check out a concert instead.

A small crowd of people stand infront a trio of bards knocking out a mix of classic Final Fantasy tracks, all whilst waving neon glowsticks. A few people not-so-discreetly check out Pedro during the performance, but no one approaches. Maybe they’re shy. At one point, I spot a meat slab of a Roegydan wearing nothing but a pope hat and golden undies, brazenly standing in the middle of the plaza. But even he wasn’t turning heads – it’s no wonder that no one was interested in Pedro, either, then.

My roleplaying adventure has been an utter failure. As I slink away from the venue to grab an airship flight over to another city, and maybe restart my life, I contemplate what went wrong. In a world where you can be a giant warrior wielding an axe the size of a hippo, or a spell-slinging bunny on the daily, being a celebrity is – actually – comparatively boring.

As I make my way through the FF14 equivalent of an airport and prepare to log-out for the night and give up on the whole escapade, someone approaches me. They applaud and stare in amazement (I know it’s amazement because of the sparkle effect) before giving me a thumbs up and wanting to take a photo.

Finally, one person appreciates the magnificence that is the Eorzean Pedro Pascal. It’s a single, low-key interaction but that one little bit of roleplay recognition makes it all worth it. Perhaps Pedro will visit Eorzea again, after all.